BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

This got me jumping on the couch and chating “San Dimas Highschool Football Rules!”

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is a 1989 science fiction-comedy bromance film and the first installment in the Bill & Ted franchise in which two metalhead slackers travel through time to assemble a menagerie of historical figures for their high school history presentation.

It stars a young Keanu Reeves as “Ted” Theodore Logan, Alex Winter as Bill S. Preston, Esquire and George Carlin as Rufus.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure received reviews which were most positive upon release and was commercially successful. It is now considered a cult classic. 

The film opens in San Dimas, California in the year 2688 AD. Rufus (Carlin) prepares to use a time-traveling phone booth to travel back to 1988 to ensure the Two Great Ones–Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan – remain together to form the band “Wyld Stallyns” whose music will become the core of the future’s Utopian society.

Rufus finds that Bill and Ted are on the verge of failing their high school history class and should Ted fail his father will ship him off to an Alaskan military academy, effectively ending the pair’s dreams of forming a band.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventurewas a financial success, grossing $40.4 million domestically on a budget of about $10 million.

Most memorable quotes:

  • “This is a dude who, 700 years ago totally ravaged China and who we were told 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman’s Sporting Goods.”
  • “Be excellent to each other. And… PARTY ON, DUDES!”
  • “Sounds good, Mr. The Kid!”
  • “So, Bill, what you’re telling me, essentially, is that Napoleon was a short dead dude.”
  • “Oh, you beautiful babes from England for whom we have traveled through time… will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas? We will have a most triumphant time!”

A theatrical sequel, “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey” was released in 1991 and an untitled third film is planned to be released in 2013. Yipee!

Fingers crossed they don’t massacre a classic.

DOCTOR DREADFUL

Looks gross, tastes great!

Doctor Dreadful is a children’s toy involving the creation of confectionery of viscous consistencies, lurid colors or in molds in the shapes of animals. It is produced by Umagine.

Based on the principle eat everything you make, it’s pretty much a boy’s version of an easy bake oven.

Products include:

  • Organ Grinder (crank up delicious juicy goo-filled Zombie organs)
  • Spider Eggs (lays hundreds of edible spider eggs, devour them before they hatch)
  • Zombie Lab (brew bubbly brains and watch as your Zombie barfs a delicious drink)
  • Stomach Churner (pour out foamy belly brew and mix up tomach acids)

RICKI LAKE

“Go Ricki, Go Ricki!”

Ricki Pamela Lake (born September 21, 1968) is an American actress, producer and TV host. She is best known for her starring role as Tracy Turnblad in the original “Hairspray”, her ground-breaking documentary film “The Business of Being Born” and her talk show which was broadcasted internationally from 1993-2004.

Ricki Lake was Lake’s first daytime talk show. The wildly successful show specialized in topics involving invited guests and incorporated questions and comments from a studio audience (think a more female-geared and less tame version of Jerry Springer/Maury Povich).

The show debuted in syndication on September 13, 1993 and ended first-run episodes on May 25, 2004.

The best thing about taking a sickie from school was staying in bed and watching day time TV.

Back then, Ricki Lake topics were so scandalous like “Mom, let me do it int he house or I’m gone!” and “Girl it’s gonna get heated… I got proof your man cheated!”

GOLDEN AXE

Golden Axe is a side-scrolling beat ’em up and hack & slash arcade video game released released in 1989 by Sega for the System 16-B arcade hardware.

Makoto Uchida was the primary developer of the game and also was responsible for the creation of Altered Beast, a similar game. Several ports of the game were created, most notably for the Mega Drive/Genesis and Master System. 

The game takes place in the fictional land of Yuria, a Conan the Barbarian-style high fantasy medieval world. An evil entity known as Death Adder has captured the King and his daughter and holds them captive in their castle.

He also finds the Golden Axe, the magical emblem of Yuria and threatens to destroy both the axe and the royal family unless the people of Yuria accept him as their ruler. Three Warriors set out on a quest to rescue Yuria and avenge their losses at the hands of Death Adder.

The first is a battle axe wielding dwarf, Gilius Thunderhead from the mines of Wolud whose twin brother was killed by the soldiers of Death Adder.

Another is a male barbarian, Ax Battler wielding a two handed broadsword looking for revenge for the murder of his mother.

The last is a long-sword-wielding Tyris Flare an amazon whose parents were both killed by Death Adder.

 

The warriors save the inhabitants of the ransacked Turtle Village, which turns out to be situated on the shell of a giant turtle.

The turtle takes the characters across the sea and they then fly to the castle itself on the back of a giant eagle.

Once at the castle they defeat Death Adder, who is wielding the Golden Axe and save the land.

In the Mega Drive and PC versions, and also in other ports, the characters also battle Death Adder’s mentor, Death Bringer as the true final boss.

I played this on PC and it was insane! 98% of the time I’d picked the dwarf because he had the most finesse.

My fave part of the game was being able to hi-jack a fire breathing dragon and ride it all the way to the end until you go head-to-head with Death Adder.

Bonus was being able to conjure up magic and unleashing those lightning bolts! Boo-yah!

OUCH! GUM

Woohoo! My confectionary of choice when going to the cinema…

Ouch! is a type of sugar-free bubble gum made by the Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company under the Hubba Bubba brand name.

The gum had previously been available in the flavors o grape, watermelon and strawberry.

Each stick of gum was wrapped with wrapping made to look like a bandage and was packaged in a container similar to that of a bandage box.

Another type of candy dispensed in a novelty form just because it made it more fun.

Watermelon was the shiz and I remember collecting the tins so I can put the most random things in them like real band-aids?

MACARENA

I use to hang my head in shame everytime the dance floor broke out into this piss-poor excuse of a choreographed dance.

Macarena is a Spanish dance song by Los del Rio about a woman of the same name. Appearing on the 1994 album “A Mi Me Gusta”, it was an international hit between 1995 and 1996 and continues to have a cult following.

It was ranked the “#1 Greatest One Hit Wonder of all Time” by VH1 in 2002.

 

The song uses a type of clave rhythm. The song ranks at #5 on Billboard’s All Time Top 100.

It also ranks at #1 on Billboard’s All Time Latin Songs.

It is also Billboard’s #1 dance song and one of five foreign language songs to hit #1 since 1995’s modern rock era began.

As much as the Macarena made me gag (especially the Christmas version – released 1996) it still deserves props and a rightful place in the 90s hall of fame.

COMMANDER KEEN

I heart MS-DOS games!

Commander Keen is a series of video games developed in the early 1990s. The series focuses on the adventures of Billy Blaze, an 8-year old boy who travels through space and assumes the identity “Commander Keen”.

The series was successful at replicating the side-scrolling action of the NES Super Mario Bros. games in DOS. The cartoon-style platform games are notable for their pioneering use of EGA graphics and shareware distribution and they were some of the first games by id Software (which went on to develop blockbusters like Doom and Quake).

Billy Blaze is an eight-year-old boy genius who has constructed a spaceship in his backyard from old soup cans and other household objects called The Bean-with-Bacon Megarocket. When his parents are out and the babysitter falls asleep, he dons his brother’s Packers helmet and becomes Commander Keen, Defender of Earth.

 

Seven official Commander Keen games were released for the PC under MS-DOS.

They are divided into mini-series, and are considered “episodes” of the full series.

I cherish the days where games were as simple as pressing the [shift], [control] and [alt] buttons to jump and shoot.